Monster of Me
by SweetSearene
Summary: Based on the song "Monster" by meg and Dia, I suggest listening to it while reading. Rated T for child abuse, hints of rape, and suicide.


**This song touched my heart, and I decided to attempt writing something about it. I know they already did their own story about it, but consider this my version.**

**Disclaimer: Song not owned by me, "Monster" is by Meg and Dia.**

* * *

_**His little whispers, love me, love me. **_

_Why…? Why couldn't they love me? Was I just a mistake in their hateful eyes?_

_Tears dripped down my face, falling to the ground like heavy droplets of rain._

_**That's all I ask for, love me, love me.**_

_I couldn't remember a day I felt anything, anything but pain. Pain from them, pain from the scars they give me, pain from not knowing what it felt like… felt like to be loved._

_**He battered his tiny fists to feel something. Wondered what it's like to touch and feel something.**_

_My hands were clenched onto my sides, clenched so tightly that my nails were piercing through my palm. It didn't matter, I needed to feel something._

_They hit the wall, every strike leaving cuts on my knuckles. _

_Was this love? Was this what they were trying to show me the whole time? I didn't know._

_**Monster, how should I feel? Creatures lie here, looking through the window.**_

_Every day like this, it was an unspoken routine between them and I. I asked myself how I should feel; feelings were oblivious to me, always trying to grasp what it meant. _

_What did it mean, weren't all feelings just pain? _

_Footsteps where heard outside my door, all I could do was ask what I did to deserve this._

* * *

She was beautiful. Her hair like raven's feathers and eyes like melted chocolate, skin as pale as the moon outside my window. I always saw her sitting at the same table at the café, round face resting on her hand as if she were lost in her own little world.

_**That night he caged her—bruised and broke her. He struggled closer. Then he stole her!**_

Finally, I talked to her, asking her if she could show me to this store. She said yes.

I had shoved her into an alley, forcing her lips to mine, my rough, scarred hands tangling themselves into her raven hair.

_**Violet wrists and then her ankles. Silent pain. Then he slowly saw their nightmares, were his dreams.**_

My room was empty that night. It always had been, but it felt different now. An aura of some sort was in the room.

I couldn't sleep. Images of the pale, beautiful girl in my mind, her bruised wrists, and how she tried to scream—but nothing came out of her mouth.

No moon tonight. No stars. Just dark clouds clinging to the sky line, making sure no light passed through their thin barrier.

_**Monster, how should I feel? Creatures lie here, looking through the window.**_

It finally came to me. I had hurt her, scarred her and took her innocence away as my own parents did to me.

_**I will, hear their voices, I'm a glass child, I am Hannah's regrets.**_

My parents… was this why they hated me so much as to hurt me? Did they somehow know I would become this… this monster? No. I didn't want to believe that. I was just a mere child back then, a child of six made of fragile glass_**—**_only to be shattered by them. Yes, none of it was my fault. It was them who caused this_**—**__they _molded this monster with their own hands.

_**Monster, how should I feel? Turn the sheets down, murder ears with pillow lace.**_

Her silent screams were ringing in my ears, getting louder and louder as time passed. No one, not even I, could live with this sound wandering like a lost soul in their mind.

_**There's bathtubs, full of glow flies.**_

Liquid dripped from the lamp, the water cascaded from the faucet, mixing in with the kerosene.

My body sat in the bath, and in my right hand, was a lighter.

Maybe now I'd make my parents smile. Their faces plastered with joy from seeing me in visible pain. I could see it, could you?

_**Bathe in kerosene, their words tattooed in his veins, yeah!**_

The flame touched the water.

I didn't scream, or writhe, or do anything, deciding to not let them see me like that; they didn't deserve that happiness.

Don't be sad for me, I'll be leaving this place soon. The same place where I was hurt for as long as I could remember

Eyes stung from the smoke, they closed and I smiled.

At last, I was free.

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**THE END.**


End file.
